After experiencing BPPV and being sent back home from the hospital, I followed the medical advices I was given and went back to the office, trying not to think about all the strange feeling my body felt. Working on the computer, concentrating on things, talking to a friend, having a shower, driving, doing sport: everything was just so difficult that when that I came back home in the evenings I went straight to bed. I felt extremely weak and my body was unstable, but I told myself that had to be patient (as the ENT told me in fact) and wait for these symptoms to go away.
Unfortunately, starting again with the work routine and being patient was not the best thing to do, because as the days and weeks went by, the symptoms just got worse and worse, until at the end of November 2021 (approximately three weeks after having BPPV) I had to be brought back to the ER as I started having nausea and vomiting every morning and not being able to properly sleep as I had vertigo also with my eyes closed. Additional blood tests, MRI, different physicians visiting me and back home, another time, with the same advice "be patient and rest" and a bunch of anti-inflammatory pills.
I struggled a lot to be patient because in addition to not feeling well and not being able to do sport, I didn't know what exactly was happening to my body and I started being frightened. At this time I had the sensation of spinning, floating and being on a boat all day and night long, and also started having panic attacks as I could not control my vertigo. I spent one week at home not being able to stand properly, sleeping, eating, watching tv or reading; the only thing activity of the day was sitting and listening to music. And of course, thinking.
I thought about how we often get so caught up in overloading our days and demanding too much to ourselves, that we forget what a wonderful taste it is to simply not have any plans and enjoy a day without setting the alarm clock in the morning. A day in which we can let ourselves be carried away by events, with no hurry, where we can enjoy what brings us joy and fill our hearts with smiles and good company. And how precious our physical and mental health is, also if we often take it for granted.
This is when I realized I couldn't be patient anymore. I needed answers. I couldn't stay one more day on my couch, being able of doing nothing and waiting for recovery to happen without knowing what the problem was. I had to do something for this situation, for myself, for having my life back.
I talked to my general practitioner, who suggested me to be visited by a neurologist, which I am glad I did. After discussing my case and more tests, the neurologists proposed me to be hospitalized so that they could take care of the situation in a deeper way. I accepted and stayed at the hospital for four days with my lovely roommate Marta, a 75 years old lady with Parkinson who is without doubts one of the strongest women I had the pleasure to cross my path with. During my hospitalization I was lucky enough to be visited also by a young neurologist specialized in vertigo problems, which seriously took my case (I had a long list of practitioner telling me I was mad and I just had to go to a psychologist, which in any case I already did -.-) and after doing various test told me what the problem was in his opinion: Persistent Postural-Perceptual Dizziness (also known as PPPD and 3PD). And this is when the real journey actually started.
Australian Outback, December 2019
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